Song of Solomon Chapter 4
“There Is No Flaw In You.”
Chapter 4 is a look at the wedding day. The groom compliments his bride’s every feature. And in verse 7 he says, “All beautiful you are my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
For those of us who are married, we can look back on our wedding day and remember the beauty of our lover. We look forward to spending the rest of our lives together. I even memorized verse 7 that says, “All beautiful you are my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
What I have found over the years is that the more time we spend with our mate, or any person, the more we find out they’re not as perfect as we thought they were. And we find out we’re not as perfect as we thought we were. We all have our flaws. The fact that we all have flaws should never give a person an excuse to make the other feel less than a person.
Conflicts are not to be dealt with attacking words. One must learn to share one’s emotions always with the intent of reaching a resolution of wholeness bound in love.
So here’s some thoughts I feel can help us in times of conflict with any relationship:
1. Both parties must be able to admit they have flaws and the word “BUT” can’t be used. “I have flaws, BUT it’s your fault we are having this conflict.”
2. When conflict occurs, both parties should be able to give constructive criticism and not criticism. Constructive criticism promotes growth if given in love. Criticism, on the other hand, tears down a person and makes them feel less of a person and not valued.
3. When true constructive criticism is given, at least have a heart open to hear what your friend is saying and learn from it.
When my wife gives true constructive criticism, that’s not said in anger or hatredness, I want to respond with my emotions and defend myself. I find if I’m not quick to react but think through what she said, I end up finding great value in her words which promote growth. But when I hear just criticism, I end up feeling less of a person, not valued.
4. One should never leave a conflict feeling as if they’re always the problem.
Hope this helps!
