Read Matthew 19:3-9
DIVORCE : I WANT OUT!
Pharisees came to test Jesus and asked this question: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?” The Pharisees wanted Jesus to slip up with his answer but he quoted the Scriptures. It’s hard to go wrong when you quote the Scriptures unless you like to take them out of context.
Jesus quoted three passages in Genesis (1:27, 5:2, 2:24). Jesus quoted that God created man and woman and when they marry they were to leave their dependency upon their parents and begin their own lives together. And when they marry the two become One flesh. Then Jesus adds, what God joins together, let no one separate.
The Pharisees responded saying, if the married couple cannot be separated, then why did Moses command that a Certificate of Divorce be given in order to send away his wife? Jesus set things clear for the Pharisees by reminding them that it was allowed by God because of the people’s hardened hearts. But the truth of the matter is, divorce is not to occur except for infidelity. If people really operated with this principle, then there would be less unnecessary divorces. When a problem comes in a marriage, rather than communicate and work through the problems, people are quick to get a divorce.
Communication is key for helping save a marriage, but communication without humility or unselfishness, results in a power struggle or results in one partner wanting to be in control. The person who wants to be “in control” puts their spouse into bondage. It’s like being married in shackles. You can’t do this or that unless I let you. They discourage their spouse doing things outside the home or from using their God-given gifts. This can result in feeling not valued, insignificant, inadequate and it can drain one’s confidence in life. It can degrade their self esteem.
When there’s a problem in marriage, don’t let DIVORCE be the go-to answer and don’t use the word as a threat. I vowed to never to use that word when in an argument with my wife. Never! I don’t want to plant a seed in my or her thinking that grows and becomes an option. As a result I’m locked in the thinking that we have to work out our differences. We both have to be willing to work it out and that often means sacrificing our wills for the will of the other. It should not be one person doing it all the time, and sacrificing should be a JOY if LOVE is the motivation for your decision.
I pray for all the married couples to work on this communication. I pray for those looking for a spouse to learn now how to communicate and work through differences. I pray that parents teach their kids how to work through problems.
Have a good day!
