1 Samuel Chapter 20
Families In Need Of Healing (I know it’s long but it’s very personal)!
Saul’s hatredness for David, and his desire to kill David, had not yet subsided. Jonathan, Saul’s son, loved and appreciated David so much that he came to David’s defense before Saul. This infuriated Saul and he responded with very belittling words to his son which devastated Jonathan. But that’s not all! Saul, in his anger and hatredness, even threw a spear at Jonathan to kill him. How do you mend such brokenness in your family? How do you heal from such devastation?
Twice in my life I remember saying these words on two different occasions, “I am disappointed in you!” Once to my oldest daughter Rachel, and once to my youngest daughter Megan. Both times I injured their hearts. They were hurt by these words. The last thing your kid wants to hear (or anyone in your family, or your friends, or your workforce) is ” I’m disappointed in you. ” It’s like saying, “You’re a failure,” and both my daughters took it that way.
Saul was so focused on self that he let his emotions override his need to exhibit self-control with his words and actions.
Thankfully, after realizing I injured my daughters with my words, I humbly went to them and apologized for what I had said and I was able to have a controlled conversation about what I said and why and admitted my faults while expressing my love for them. I shared how truly proud I was of them. I felt we were able to both deal with this issue in our communication and open dialogue which resulted in healing and the motivation to move on in love. I never said these words again to my girls, but think if I did. Imagine, if you will, if I had problems controlling my emotions and let these words go out often. Think of how I would be chipping away their self-esteem and self-confidence and even destroying what God was trying to do in and through their lives.
MAY WE ALWAYS:
1. Seek God to help us control our emotions and words towards our family, children, spouse, friends, or coworkers.
2. Humbly approach those we hurt with open dialogue and communication while expressing our weakness and apologize for our inability to control our emotions and words that come out from our mouths.
3. Go out of your way to compliment your loved ones so that you can build them up daily so they can become all God wants them to become.
